Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
