Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
