My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
