There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
