thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Oh god it's open bar.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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