THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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