i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
