she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
