It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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