normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
