after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize