i think my tv is drunk
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize