he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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