I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
