Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
