I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
