Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
