Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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