Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am midnight drunk by noon
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
