how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
