No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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