It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
