I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
