I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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