doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
