I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
