then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
