This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
