I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize