Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
