Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
