this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
