she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
