I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
