i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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