You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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