The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
