Define "chronic" masturbator.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
