just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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