I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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