you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
