Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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