I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
where am i from again
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize