He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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