Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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