So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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