she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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