i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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