aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
