toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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