first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
