Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize