You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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