U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm sobbing to NWA
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
