If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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