dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
