yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
