a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
