I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
