he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
