We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
