I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize