the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
