Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
