I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
