no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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