I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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