just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
