Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
