even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
