i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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