I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
