put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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