We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize