It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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