If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
