Fuck appropriateness.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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