I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was like eating out sand paper
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
