He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize