Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I have post one night stand depression
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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