Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
